Dad?

OK, my 74 year old Father is really scaring me.

Yesterday, we have this weird "this is not happening" conversation.

Dad - "Since your car is behind mine and you're not leaving right now, do you want me to move it?"

Me - "Uh, sure! Thanks!"

Dad - Walks out the door. Walks back in. "This is the remote to unlock it, but where's the key?"

Me - "Huh? Oh, I don't have a key. It's a smart key, remember?"

Dad - "Oh, OK." Walks out the door. Walks back in. "OK, so I unlocked the car. Where's the key so I can drive it?"

Me - Really worried at this point. "Dad, you don't need a key. Just put this in your pocket and pretend there's a key, turn and it will start."

Dad - "Oh, OK. Wow, cars with no keys."

This is where the scary part comes in. My Dad drives my car alll the time to run to the corner Gas station for lotto tickets or to the grocery store for bread, etc. In fact, I had just gotten there and he took my car since it was "still warmed up" just the weekend before!

OK, OK...Uncle!

OK, I ranted about Hunter last week. Why? He annoys me sometimes!

This week, I cry "Uncle"! I apologize. Really, I do. Can we just go back to the way things were?

Gees!

So last night, doing the same ol' with him and he has his left leg held out so I can get my finger under him to scratch his belly.

I think everything is cool...he poops on me! NOT once, but twice!

LMAO, is that karma or what? I bitch about him and he craps on me the next chance he has? I knew I should have had Puppy tend to him!

NOOO MORE, please?

OK, so I own a boutique. I don't have much to say about it because this blog was not created for business, but for my own pleasure. I am going to write one for the shop after the new year, but for now...I have got to vent!

NOOO MORE, please?

I don't think I can take 12 more days of people coming in and saying crazy things to me!

Shopper - "I hope you don't go out of business like so many others right now."
Me - "Well, hmmm, can't say I see that happening!"
Me thinking - Happy Holidays to you too! Buy something so I won't!

Shopper - "Will this sale get any better?"
Me - "I'm sure it will after Christmas, maybe when we clear out for the season."
Me thinking - What's wrong with my sale? It's a pretty good one! Isn't this a good sale?
Same Shopper - "Well, this is nice, but I don't want to spend that much."
Me - "Boutiques aren't exactly known for their great prices. We have many unique items and you won't be able to find any of them at a department store."
Me thinking - No one dragged you in here! It says Boutique!
Same Shopper - "I think it's worth $50, but not $75. How about $50?"
Me - "I'm sorry. Again, we are a boutique and I do have set prices. I thank you for coming in and the fact that you like that particular item is a compliment, but I just am not going to make a deal. Maybe it will still be here when we do our clearance if you are still interested then. Would you like to leave your number and I can give you a call?"
Me thinking - Hell no, I am not a flee market. This is NOT China town!

Shopper - "Um, I'm re-thinking this outfit we purchased."
Me - "Sure, let me take a look at what you have in your bag."
Me thinking - didn't you buy something over a month ago?
Same Shopper - "I don't have the receipt, we just bought it."
Me - "I vaguely remember you purchasing something over a month ago, unless you came in when I wasn't here?"
Me thinking - When am I not here?
Same Shopper - "Well, it's damaged."
Me - "OK, well, let's take a look then."
Me thinking - What? OK, Lady, looks like you have washed it a gazillion times, there's even a hole and it's not just a hole, snagged on something???
Me - "As you already know, we have a 14 day exchange and we don't accept returns. I will usually make exceptions, depending on what the item is and what the situation is. As an exception, this one time only, I will exchange for the same outfit, in the same size. Would you like me to grab it for you?"
Me thinking - Eat the cost, live with it...but, let me guess, you want a different one or a new outfit!
Same Shopper - "Well, how about the next size up or something else?"
Me - "No, I'm sorry. I will not do that."
Me thinking - What? So it doesn't fit, you shrunk the hell out of it? You got bored with it?
Same Shopper - "Well, that's crappy customer service. At so and so, and so and so, they don't have a problem."
Me - "Well, I am sorry you feel that way. I actually have a more lenient policy then most boutiques. Since you have mentioned shopping at such and such, and such and such, you do know that my policy is more lenient then."
Me thinking - Uhhh...NO. YOU. WILL. NOT. GET. WHAT. YOU. WANT.
Same Shopper - "Fine then, I will take the exchange and I won't shop you ever again."
Me - "Ok then, we will go ahead and take care of this, this one time, for you."
Me thinking - Good riddance, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!

Who needs shoppers like these???

Seriously, I am super nice to my customers. I LOVE people and love getting to know them and their families. I know their names!

I DO NOT like rude people and I do not like people who try to take advantage of me!

Love Homework

OK, I usually don't do this out loud or on paper. I usually just sit in a quiet room and I start listing the first 25 things I can think of that I love about Bebe. This is my homework to keep my love alive, upfront, meaningful. It helps me to appreciate him and not take him for granted.

So, if you are interested-keep reading, if not, or it's going to make you barf-have a great day.

Bebe, I love:

1. that when I was sad the other week, I found a single stem of Stargazer Lily propped up against my steering wheel. Simple and so sweet. Thank you!

2. that when you are guilty of something, your dimples show when I ask you about it. You just can't lie! Or is it because you KNOW what those dimples can do to me? Hmmm, I have to rethink that one.

3. that you took Puppy to school on Tuesday and Wednesday for me, even after your 2 hours of commute and 12 hour graveyard shift. I really needed that extra time this week.

4. that you started my car and warmed it up when you got home. Puppy and I were nice and toasty on the way to school and work.

5. that you asked if I wanted you to blow dry my boots this morning so my feet would be warm. That is so funny! Thoughtful, but no thank you! I would have never thought of that!

6. that you drove all the way down to Oregon to do the Toy Run because you said you would. Not happy about the partying and too drunk to drive home part! Yeah, I know, it was the first time you've ever done that, but still. Yeah, I know, you haven't seen those guys in forever, but still. THE Toy Run, I know, but still.

7. that you were willing to drive the distance AND on the fly to fix my neighboring bookstore's leaking sink. I'm glad they won't lose inventory because of it.

8. that you made fun of me when I tripped. THAT was so funny.

9. that when my 74 year old Dad said, "Can you guys grab me a 2009 calendar next time you're running around?" you bought that hilarious "HOOTERS" one and had all the girls there that night sign it! Did you see the look on the faces of the guys next to us? I know they thought you were buying it for yourself and that Ms. Brown Suga and I were laughing about it. Hey, I did offer to buy you one! Hehe

10. that you give me kisses on my forehead to let me know you cherish me.

11. that you don't get grumpy when I've stolen all your nightshirts when you are away at work.

12. that Puppy likes to tease and joke with you as much as I do.

13. that Puppy asks to text you back our "Good nights" before he goes to bed each night and you are working.

14. that you look sooo sexy in your jeans.

15. that you look sooo sexy in your jeans. Hey, it's my list and you really do!

16. that I always catch you looking at me while I'm doing something, my Sudoku puzzle on the back of Puppy's menu last night, whatever. You make me feel so sexy, even when I'm doing nothing!

17. that you get that funny look on your face when I enter the room. You always let me know that I am always present in you mind, never ignored.

18. that you try to play off that you are listening when you aren't. I always call you out on it, then the dimples...

19. that you respect my close relationship with my family. You never complain about seeing one of them, if not all of them...even when we just saw them yesterday!

20. that you did most of my driving for me on our Road Trip.

21. that you are sooo loving and affectionate.

22. that you got me the gear I wanted, even though it's not "biker girl", more "city girl". I can't help it, I make a living at it! If I'm going to do it, I'm going to look good doing it! Are we still getting my jacket painted on the back???

23. that you've made sure that your friends all think I'm some kind of "catch" and don't know how you got me. I don't know what stories you tell them, but I feel loved when I am around them. Yes, even Happy Mama and No, I don't know why everyone assumes I'm going to get mad about her one day?

24. that you will get out of bed and heat up my spa wrap for me to use when my back is hurting me. I know, you got the broken model. Hope you don't trade me in! ;-)

25. that you are able to keep your cool, no matter who or what. I wish I could do that!

My Bebe Cracks Me Up!

So, to keep the romance alive, Bebe and I go on "Date Nights" without Puppy. Last week, we did dinner and a movie.

As I have mentioned before, we are always laughing at each other. I usually make sure I get the last word in. Bebe makes fun of me, I turn it around. Sometimes, I am just laughing so hard I can't say anything. This was one of those times.

We met up after I got off work, so we had both cars. When we were leaving the restaurant, Bebe walked me to my car way out in Ethiopia. As we are walking, he's holding my hand, we are talking, laughing, I trip. OK, more like stub my toe and stumble...no hands out in front of me for balance or anything.

Bebe looks at me, "Man, are you OK?" Turns and looks back at the ground, totally straight faced, "I mean, THAT really was a big piece of paper."

Stupid, but funny. In fact, I couldn't stop laughing. I couldn't even talk. I'm sure you had to be there, but it was FUNNY!

If you haven't seen the James Bond flick, we loved it!

Just a Lizard...I'm Talking To

You know, Hunter, it is a good thing you are just a lizard.

First of all, your name's all wrong. You, my friend, are no hunter. Hungry, sure, most definitely. A hunter? Hmmm, not so much. Remember those crickets? Yeah, Buddy, I know it's been a while. I have to draw the line somewhere. I cringed when I pulled off their hind legs just for you, AND you still couldn't catch them! I mean, COME ON! You can thank ME for that fat tail of yours. If I didn't put these meal worms and wax worms right in front of you, you would be one skinny ass lizard. I'd hate to see what it would be like for you if you were a man! I mean what girl would want that in a man?

Speaking of, remember Lizzie? Yeah, cute little Lizzie. That didn't last long! We bought you last Christmas for Lizzie. Only in a lizard's world, we "bought" you for her. You came home and you rattled your little tail, chased her around. You were nice for what? 1 day? I don't know how many days that would translate to in Human years, but yeah, you courted her for a day! You got her pregnant, you chased her away from getting any food after that!!! Oh, don't look away, there's no one else involved here. What happened when she got sick, huh? Do you remember that? You cuddled up to her, put your head on her back. Well, we all miss her and I am NOT buying you a girlfriend this year. Nope, you are stuck all by yourself, Buddy. Man, can you imagine if you were a guy and you did that shit???

It's OK, just eat your worm. Oh, COME ON! It's not even crawling away from you and you miss? What the hell?

It's OK, I'll take you out and hold you. What? Where are you going? You do this every single time. YES, you do. You run away, I catch you, I rub your back and your chin, you press yourself up against my fingers, my hand. Then what? Yeah, I'm asking you. That's right, when I go to put you back, you climb my arm and cling on for dear life! Again, what if you were a guy doing that shit???

It's OK, really, I'm not mad. You do have to go back, I have other things to do. I'll turn out your lights. I'll be here tomorrow, same time, same place, same shit. It is a good thing you are just a lizard.

Oh, The Games We Play

"A love affair, the only war in which you sleep with the enemy."
anonymous

Seduce

Se.duce [si-duce, dyoos]
–verb (used with object), -duced, -duc⋅ing.
1. to lead astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt.
2. to persuade or induce to have sexual intercourse.
3. to lead or draw away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance: He was seduced by the prospect of gain.
4. to win over; attract; entice: a supermarket seducing customers with special sales.

A story of seduction, Not Tonight at www.lovegonewrongintheredroom.blogspot.com, my other blog.

Have you ever been seduced by someone? Have you ever been the one to seduce someone?

New Poll to the right!

One Doll+One Elephant = One Woman

Hello!

Today, I want to share a story about myself and what I am passing on to my son, Puppy.

I came to the United States with my family back in 1975. Our family included my Grandmother from my Father's side, my Mother, my Nanny, my 3 sisters, my brother and me. We were one of the larger families to immigrate, so we waited a long time in the military camp for a family to sponsor us. Eventually 2 Baptist families sponsored us together.

My fondest memories of toys at Xmas time is being 3 and being able to pick out my own toys. I chose a little doll and a plush elephant. Even then, I didn't like what everyone else had. I chose an African American doll, yes, back in 1975! She had the best curly hair!!! I loved my doll. My elephant was no ordinary elephant, he was a great big PURPLE elephant. LOL

My toys came from a local toy donation event.

My Father, being an educated man was able to get a job with the State immediately. My Mother took English classes at night and cleaned trailers during the day. She endured this for one year. I did not know how much this really meant until I grew up. My Mother was a woman who had cooks, nannies, chauffeurs in her other life. I think it is hardest when one is spoiled beyond imagination and loses it all to start over.

So, back to those toys. They were the best! I still remember them, vaguely since I was so young. They must have been special since I still remember them 33 years later. I think that as a small child, almost 4, you "feel" how special things are by the adults surrounding you. I don't know what the adults were thinking or feeling that day. I only have my interpretation of it.

I took Puppy out shopping to make his Christmas List for this year. When he was done making his list, he chose 2 big monster trucks for the "giving tree" at his school. There is a tree in the library and the children will be able to give gifts for children in need this Thursday on "library day". One truck was purchased by me, as an example for my child. One truck was purchased by Puppy with his "golden dollars" from his "Dinosauraus Bank". Puppy earns a dollar from us for every 5 stickers we put in his school calendar for getting himself ready for school and bed-time without our nagging or help to do so. It is amazing how hard it is to get it right in the morning and at night on the same day! LOL

Let me say that Puppy is no Angel, so he didn't really "want" to do this. I had to say to him, "Puppy, you are very fortunate to have a beautiful home to live in. You are very fortunate to have all the toys, movies, games...do I need to go on?" He shakes his head and says, "No. I know, Mama."

Me - "How would you feel if Christmas came and we just couldn't get you one single gift because we didn't have the money to?"

Puppy - "Sad."

Me - "How would you feel if no one wanted to help us get you a present?"

Puppy - tears streaming down his face. "Sad. I am sorry Mama, I would really like to get a toy for the boy who doesn't have one yet."

Me - tears in my eyes, "Thank you, Baby for making me so proud. I am very happy that you understand what it means to give this year."

I am happy that when it came time to do it, he didn't just do it reluctantly, he wanted the "bestest looking" trucks with the "coolest" monster stickers on the sides!

Bebe drove down to Oregon and did his thing. He joined the hundreds on their motorcycles for the 29Th Annual Toy Run to benefit the Shriners Hospital for Children.

I did my thing. I picked up 2 stars from the "giving tree" at the bank near my shop. I got a girl and a boy. I have to say, normally I just get a girl who is asking for something that relates to jewelry since it is a passion of mine, or make-up another passion of mine (use to be a make-up artist). In picking out my girl's star this year, I noticed a boy's star. Body wash. That is what he wanted. That is all he wanted??? I asked Bebe to help me choose for a 13 year old boy. He got body wash, a cool black Loofa and a toiletry bag. Cool!!! I put in a couple of different chapsticks and a couple of different types of gum.

I know that it wasn't much in comparison to some, but I think that if everyone who could, did, it would make a huge difference. It's not a question of how much, it's why not? I don't know what any of the children and their families are facing in their lives or why, I just know that my family had it all and lost it all and what we endured to get where we are today. The gift of giving certainly played a huge role in shaping me and making me the woman I am today. I thank the persons who donated that doll and that elephant to one little girl in a whole new world. Most of all, I thank the families for sponsoring others.

Thank you for giving!

Dad!

As I have mentioned before, my Father is 74 years old. He has lived a very FULL life. He is getting a little fuzzy I think. Here are some examples.

Me - "Dad, Mom mentioned that you wanted to borrow Bebe's car to pick up Puppy from school tomorrow. Bebe will pick him up."

Dad - "Why do I need to borrow a car?"

Me - "Mom has that massage therapy apt. remember?"

Dad - "Your Mom can pick him up."

Me - "No, she will be too late after her appointment."

Dad - "I can pick him up. I pick him up every day."

Me - "I know, Dad. You and Mom only have one car?"

Dad - "I will borrow Bebe's car."

Me - "You can't borrow Bebe's car. It's a rental. You aren't on the rental agreement. He will pick up Puppy."

Dad - "Bebe needs his sleep because he works the graveyard shift tomorrow. Your Mom can pick up Puppy."

Me - "Dad, Bebe said that he would pick up Puppy tomorrow."

Dad - "OK, but I don't see why I can't pick him up like I always do."

It is really exhausting. It's hard to explain to my 4 other siblings when none of them see him as often as my Mother and I do.

On another day, I filled his kettle with hot water to make his tea. It whistles.

Dad - "Your water's done."

Me - "It's for your tea, Dad."

I turn off the stove and go to the bathroom. I come out to find my Father pouring the boiling water down the drain, only to refill it and set it on the stove and turn it back on. ???

The very next day from this incident, he boils water and then goes outside. I turn off the stove and pour the water into his tea thermos. He comes in the house an hour later and boils more water!

Dad!

I confess...

I took Ms. Brown Suga to dinner last night. She chose the "Old Crazies Buffet". I normally go wherever she wants for her company and not so much for the food. Hooters for wings, Buffet for mushed potatoes and gravy, Casino for seafood. We do have weird cravings. We are both emotional eaters. We don't just eat because we are emotional, but we get together because we are emotional and then we meet up at a restaurant! Not exactly healthy or even great food, just our "usual".

Last night I was actually scared of the people at the Buffet. It was extremely crowded!!! It's usually kinda dead and we can talk and laugh as loud as we want and do whatever and no one really cares. We just merrily hide out!

Let me say it again because I don't know what was wrong with me! Last night, I was actually scared of the people at the Buffet. I was looking around, doing my usual, people watching. Here are a few observations I made about other diners around us.

A lady in line told me it was "Pay Day" when I commented to Suga how crowded it was. Who's getting paid on this Pay Day exactly and how come we weren't included?

A large family had 4 women. The couple I thought was the mother and father of an infant was actually the grandparents. "Grandma, Baby has a gift for you!" Wait, who's the mom?

Same group of women all looked like the dead. I don't know any drug addicts. Do they look pale with ginormous dark circles and luggage under their eyes? How about really gaunt faces, big heads, little bodies? Or maybe little bodies and big heads? I just know something was off with all of them.

Same group of people. "Grandpa" was using his pinkie to dip frosting or something like it to feed the screaming infant. Aren't babies that can't even hold up their own heads suppose to be on a milk/formula diet???

Last question about this family, I promise. They had on dirty clothes, or at least badly stained clothes... how can they afford to pay for the entire family to eat at the buffet (Grandpa, 4 women, 2 girls, a boy, and a baby) and not be able to afford to do their laundry or buy clean clothes??? I won't even say new, just clean? Oh, I did see Grandpa repeatedly wipe the "frosting" on his pants. Maybe they just got that dirty at the buffet?

Another family. Mom was a very large woman, 300 plus? Nothing wrong with that observation. I have an anorexic sister and that's just the other end of the spectrum. I just want to know why her toddler has to keep asking for more food and mom is just saying, "Baby, just wait until Mama goes up again, OK?" What? Oh, and why didn't anyone else in the family see there's something wrong with this?

One man was looking at every woman besides the one he came with. Why didn't he just come alone, not that it was really a "bar" or "club" or...

Too many people had their bluetooth attached to their heads. What important million dollar business transaction can you not miss at this hour?

A man was standing to the side of the buffet line eating. Is a table really too far away for you?

A child is rolling around on the ground under their table. Is that really a good idea at peak hour in a buffet restaurant?

Wayyy tooo much to type out.

I do have to ask, "What is wrong with Me?"

It's back to the "judge a book by it's cover", "label" and "file". I can only immagine what they all thought of me!

I usually don't let other people's behavior or lifestyle bother me, but last night, I was getting sooo irritated with stuff going on around us. Suga actually laughed and said that we were trying too hard to be polite and not stare at the craziness.

I'm really not sure I can do another night at the "Old Crazies Buffet". I know it was my choice and no one dragged me or forced me. I just don't think I can choose it again after last night.

What is wrong with Me? I'm usually joking around, laughing, not bothering anyone, not letting anyone bother me...last night, I just felt like I was being really judgemental and mean for thinking the things I did!

So, I confess.

What now? I'm not Catholic so I don't really know if this really works without the church and priest and all??? I have covered the being contrite and confessing portion. What about the penance and amends part?

Someone should at least tell me that I was being a really big Bitch!