Changes?

Chasing Reality has a post titled "Changes". I really liked that LacksReality, as he refers to himself, made changes. I knew nothing about this man and I did a crazy DRB (Dating Really Blows, previous Blog) marathon to get caught up. I was fascinated by LR's Blog. It is "in your face" raw and brutally honest. It is a man speaking his mind! I found it refreshing, like so many others that I am reading. I am new to all of this and it is amazing to see how "free" we can all be when we are posting! We all know how many people we already have judging us in our "in person" relationships! Why blog and just get more of the same? Comments and your thoughts greatly appreciated, judgement and reprimand? Not so much.

Now, if I would have met LR at a party or at a bar, I will admit I probably would have labeled him and judged him. Bebe has taught me what a mistake that would have been. The old, "Never judge a book by it's cover." Chasing Reality evolved from post to post to post, keep in mind I had to do over a year of catching up!

So, has he really evolved or am I just getting to know him better?

I am amazed when I sit back and think about the changes in the different relationships in my life - family, friends, lovers. How can they all differ so much? Some are like huge boulders that weather over time, but not much change. Others are like trees, roots and grows on you. Then there are the ones that are like fragrant flowers, blooms and die.

I want to know, do people really change after they hit their mid 20's? We all evolve with our life's experiences, but do we change our core being beyond that? Do people really change or do we just get to know them better?

Welcome to my Red Room. Here, it is OK to express yourself freely. I will not judge for I am not perfect. I am not free of faults. I am not all-knowing. I am not done living! I sit here to share my experiences and learn from yours.

Thank you for lounging with me! Thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing your connections with others and their stories. It takes time and it takes effort. I appreciate you for doing it.

Is he cheating?

OK, here's a topic to start out with! My ex husband was cheating. Oh, he wasn't just cheating, he had been doing it for our entire marriage of 5 years...with the same woman!!! Did that just get your attention??? How did I find out? I found out AFTER I filed for divorce. I got a hold of all the bank records, etc. in the process of preparing for court. An account I didn't even know "we" were still using had $3,000, if not $5,000 in expenses per month, all for keeping a mistress. How did I not know? Oh, I didn't just not know, I was in total denial! My ex, oh let's just call him...hmmm, how about Dick? OK then, Dick actually worked from home. I was a pampered and spoiled "housewife" and "stay at home mom". I knew nothing about finances other then that I could spend it without asking. I had the luxury of not working, well, outside of the home anyways. I was able to raise my little boy from the day he was born. I took care of US. I took care of our HOME. Dick took care of the Finances. Does this sound familiar at all? I am telling you now ladies, IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU! So, before we get much farther in this tale of mine, I ask, "Is he cheating?" If you have asked that question, you need to dish! Tell us what he or she has done and we can tell you what we think! For instance one of the signs I ignored in the beginning??? I had Dick's cell phone for a day. I sent a text and in checking the inbox for an incoming one, I saw a few old texts from myself that he had saved. Oh how sweet, how romantic, until I found one NOT from me!

Text: "So, when is your girlfriend back in town?"
Me: Huh?
Dick: "Oh, that's from so and so, and she's just joking around."

I was heated that his female friend had the nerve to nickname his wife his "girlfriend"! Denial or what? Apparently I believed his line and I got mad at her! I'm sure he got a big laugh out of that one! There's a start for you, messages on a cell phone!