Date Girl and her Match

I read Date Girl's latest and I found myself smiling! YES!!! It's nice and refreshing when I read about a woman finding this great guy and they are young and just getting started...

There's something about this on-line dating business. I know, I know, there are lots of us that have found all the weirdos no one else wanted either!

I found my Bebe on EHarmony!!! 2 years ago, this coming January. My new thing for 2007 was to put myself out there and start dating again after my horrid divorce. We hit it off right away but we decided to not meet just yet. We kept it on-line for 3 months!!! I fell for Bebe (we'll go with it) before I ever saw him in person. When I finally met him, I wrapped my arms around him for a big huge squeeze. I felt like he was this long lost friend I hadn't seen in years! I had been walking around all those years, not knowing that there was a part of me missing. We are now engaged and we will be married February 28th! We survived a long distance relationship between Oregon and Washington (2 1/2 hours of driving each way) for the past 2 years. Bebe just quit his job and got a new one, moved up here to be with my son (hmmm, Puppy-age 6) and I last month.

Bebe commuted from the very beginning. At first, it was because he felt it was 5 hours less that I would have to be apart from Puppy. Eventually, it was because he felt it was better for one of him and not 2 of us! We rarely went without each other for more than one week the whole time.

I commented on Date Girl's blog that it is the little things that count. The thought was something little, but it lead to the actions that spoke on a HUGE scale.

My most cherished feeling when I am with Bebe is that we laugh...I mean pee-your-pants laugh. Our families and friends just shake their heads because it's as if we constantly have an inside joke going on between us! Yes, that's exactly it. Our little secret of how we are staying in love! We truly became friends first and we constantly flirt with each other and laugh "at" each other! I am most certainly not laughing with him most of the time. I laugh at him and I also laugh at myself. I know that no matter how many "brain toots" I have, he'll laugh at me, make fun of me, and he still loves me. When we are out in public, people look at us because we LAUGH, out loud, cracking up, pure laughter. That's something I have always had in great friendships, but not in any other long and serious relationship I have ever had.

My ex-husband was a man of grand gestures. He loved the "awww" factor. I will admit I did too! What girl doesn't want to experience the whole "Pretty Woman" extravagance at least once in her lifetime??? Years of that and I realized I was just a "bargain" price full staff for him. I was a full time Live-In Nanny. I was the House Keeper and Full-time Cook. I was the Paid Entertainment. I was the Personal Shopper. Must I go on? I'm sure you may think that I am just bitter. No, not really. I mean, let's get real, who wouldn't be hurt or angry at such betrayal? I believe what I am saying full hearted, no more denials, no more trying to make it sound better because it wasn't. I was foolish. I believed that when you give everything you have, it will be reciprocated. I am not ashamed because I gave him everything I had to offer him. I did my part. I had faith in us! I believed that we had it all!

So, back to the grand gestures and the little things. I thought that everything was perfect. The beautiful house, blah, blah, blah...the gift of staying home to raise Puppy myself, spending all the money I wanted without asking, blah, blah, blah...he must really, truly love me to spoil me with so much. Now, looking back on it??? Hmmm, it was all a distraction from the truth! It worked!!! Like a small child, I was awwwed by the shiny, pretty things. Dick just didn't care or have the time to. You know what confirms it all for me? When I left him, he tried to take everything away from me. Everything but Puppy because he wouldn't fit in with Dick's lifestyle without the Nanny attached. As if his affair was not enough, he allowed the home that Puppy and I remained in to foreclose. Oh, not because he couldn't afford it, but because I left him. I quit my job, no pay!!! He was so angry that I had left him that foreclosure was a choice he would make over sharing a penny with me! He tried to claim that my car, which we had traded in my old car in for when I got pregnant with Puppy, was stolen because he never put my name on it! He dragged out the divorce for over a year, when he had already moved in with his Mistress a month after I filed for divorce! OK, stop me right here. That's all a story for another time...got all wrapped up in it for a sec., didn't I?

Hooray for Date Girl and her Match! I am so happy they found each other so much sooner than Bebe, Puppy, and I did.

All that heartache and drama before Dick, with Dick was just all practice. I believe that if I had not experienced all that, I would have passed Bebe by. I wouldn't have recognized what truly being loved feels like! I would have taken the Man for granted! Instead, I cherish him even more so.

Hooray for the little things!

Dreams, Nightmares and Remembering...One Woman's Letters

Moved to http://lovegonewrongintheredroom.blogspot.com/